I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
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i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
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Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
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