You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
