theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
