mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Randomize
