you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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