I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
