At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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