she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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