Sponge bath it is.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
