I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Randomize
