i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
