i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
