is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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