the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
