I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
