I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
