I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
