New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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