So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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