Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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