got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
