I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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