It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize