did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize