I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
