It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
We had to coat check the pizza.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
