God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
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