You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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