and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
