Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Randomize
