You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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