Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
