so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
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