Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
