i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
