Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
my being single is dangerous.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
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