I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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