pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
