a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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