Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
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