My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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