She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I just blew my weed a kiss
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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