No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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