She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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