i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
