if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
