I CAN MOONWALK!
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize