oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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