I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
