Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Randomize
