i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
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