I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
