i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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