so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
