Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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