a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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