hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize
