allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Randomize
