Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
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