after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
